Not everyone puts their name in the place of others, but when it comes to jumbo trons I do! On my goal poster there is a picture of a jumbotron with my name superimposed on it.  Yes, one of my dreams is to speak to huge crowds about how to create better relationships!

Apart from the guts to dream, what are my credentials – Well, I’ve got 32 years as a wife and 30 as a mom whose kids still speak to her and even like her.

There is the experience. life struggle, wrestling with God that would make Jacob’s limp seem like a stubbed toe.  I have been around the block of struggle a few too many times.

It was fun to fill in that blank screen with my name and all the dreams it represents.

When I read todays devotion for She Reads Truth, I was caught by the words “Father, forgive(___)” fill in the blank.

I filled in that blank with  my name as well.

I need  forgiveness, you need forgiveness… A reality we really don’t like face, especially in the midst of the shame that showers down on us when we are found guilty.

We are you know… guilty.

I like to think, I would have stayed true to Jesus. and not bailed like Peter;  but I have spent too many years as a recovering people pleaser to place myself above the scrambling Peter did.

When you read this morning devotional what came to mind?  What was stirred in your heart as you imagine yourself in the scene.

How do you fill in  that blank?  I fill it in with my name.  sadness overtakes me as I realize that I may not have remained faithful to Jesus.  That is our reality, like Israel we would doubt question, struggle to believe, as Moses did , Abraham, Sarah, David, Peter, and the disciples… but there isn’t condemnation in our doubt.  the re is freely offered forgiveness.

How do these words impact you as we live into Holy Week and all it means?



4 Responses to “fill in the blank”

  1. Linda

    Forgiveness. Easy enough to understand on the surface. Almost like responding automatically to ‘How are you?’ with ‘Fine, and you?’ Gets a bit harder when you add the ‘and forget.’ caveat. If we forget, do we leave ourselves open to a repeat of the actions or inactions that occasioned the need to forgive? Do we really want to forgive and forget the atrocities committed by Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, the Ayatolla Khomeini, Idi Amin Dada, Pol Pot, Emperor Hirohito, Ivan the Terrible or even the American generals who lead the 51 recorded massacres of American Indians? Do we add the Sanhedrin for turning over Jesus to the Romans to be crucified?
    In contemplation of the sins of these and their followers, it becomes clear, in light of the gift of forgiveness paid for by Jesus, that it is an all or nothing proposition.
    We don’t get to decide which sins are forgiveable and which are not forgiveable. If we accept the forgiveness paid for on the Cross, we must extend that same forgiveness to all. That would include ourselves for any and all sins of commission or omission.
    Does that give us a license to do as we please, whether or not it is in keeping with God’s word? I was the oldest of four and a bonafied Daddy’s girl. Because I loved him so much, I never wanted to displease him. I did, of course, but never casually or without careful consideration of the consequences. My next sister, however, never seemed to understand how easy it was to please him. He said put your toys away and she didn’t and then wondered why he was angry with her. He said behave and she seemed to go out of her way to misbehave. From the time she could get in trouble I begged her to do what he wanted…but, she never got it. To this day, the Daddy she talks about isn’t the Daddy I knew. The same man approached in love and acceptance responded differently than the man approached in defiance. Did he love me more? Not really; he loved all his children. I was just easier to love.
    That is how I want to be with God. Easy to love. A Good and Faithful Servant in whom He is well pleased. In this journey I accept that I will not perfectly please Him; but I will keep trying, knowing He will forgive my failings, pick me up when I fall and gently brush away the dust from my falls. And for that I am beyond grateful.

    • Susie Miller

      Linda, I just want to hug you right now and say thank you for being you! for sharing your wisdom and perspective! you have enriched my lenten journey and my life for that matter.
      Being easy to love… hmmm.. need to ponder that. I too was a Daddy’s girl, and a pleaser of my Dad, being ever so vigilant & careful to never disappoint him. BUT I don’t know that I am “easy to love” – all full of questions, energy, touching the wet paint signs and such… Part of me wants to know I am loved even when I am a handful. Does that make sense?

      • Linda

        When I read the Tibetian Book of the Dead I was struck by the description of how we are sent hurtling back into life kicking and screaming. This seems to describe how my sister came into this life–and she screamed until she was 5 years old. Refused to talk. Pushed every limit. Couldn’t resist wet paint and do not touch. She was defiant. It was as if she simply didn’t want to be here. Over the years she has mellowed, but still struggles with belonging and acceptance. With a heart as big as the whole outside, she is plagued with jealousy. She is a gifted artist, but discounts her talents, prefering the talents of others. At 63 she is just beginning to be comfortable in her own skin.
        I may have come into the world kicking and screaming, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be here. I was born happy and content, with a core of confidence and acceptance, always singing. I would have preferred being petite and beautiful, but I was always comfortable in my own skin.
        Essential differences in our natures. Those essential differences contribute to a collage of magnificent beauty which reflects the myriad of colors, shapes, talents, gifts, mind sets and personalities that I believe reflect the complexity and variety of our Creator. Each of us is part of the whole and the whole requires each of us.
        Who we are at our core is who we were created to be by our God. How can that not be enough?

        • Susie Miller

          I hear you. It is a long journey to being comfortable in our own skin… As I got older, it became a focus to grow and rest, so i could be more present to those around me and learn to give and Be Me no matter what folks thought. A definite perk of these wrinkle years 🙂


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