- The question I want to encourage you to ask yourself is what does this make possible?
- Opportunity for a new perspective
- Your mindset affects your relationships
- Good that can come from the struggle
The following is a full transcript of a Facebook Live, where Susie is speaking extemporaneously – she is unscripted and unedited.
Hi friends, Susie Miller here and I want to talk today about you, but before I start, I want to ask you, it’s only Tuesday morning. It has been the craziest morning here. We’re on Pacific time. So for those of you on the East coast, that means we’re only at 9:00 AM and since I get up at seven, I’ve had tech issues and I can shake a stick out with my website. I’ve had a couple of clients text me with some crisis. I have been running at breakneck speed, so I apologize for being just a few minutes late today. But today let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about a tip for you that will help you get through this Corona crisis and be in a different place on the other side. And it’s something that I have used repeatedly in my life and the struggles I’ve had.
As you guys know, I have had a lot of health challenges over the last Oh 15 years. I think it’s been, but some really bad ones last year where I was pretty debilitated and couldn’t do anything of my normal life, was spent some time being couch written, which, you know, is a little better than bedridden. But it was definitely tough in our tiny house to not be able to do things, to be all my travel was canceled. All my speaking was counseling. It was just not a good, positive, helpful, helpful time in my life. It was very difficult. Physically it was very difficult emotionally, mentally. I battled a lot spiritually with the Lord and what he was allowing in my life. So this Corona crisis is bringing back a lot of those thoughts and feelings in that.
I was pretty isolated. I was in my own home. I was, I couldn’t work, so that was a difficult thing or worked very, very little. But there was a season where I literally shut down because my breathing was so bad. My coffee was so bad, I couldn’t even talk. So I share all that to say I get it. And so this Corona crisis is bringing some of those feelings back. I don’t know about you, but maybe some of the struggles you’re going through in this time with your self, with your friends, with your family, with your kiddos is bringing back old feelings. It certainly is bringing up to the surface for all of us, a sense of helplessness, a sense of not being able to be in control. And the reality is we just got a name that it’s true.
We’re not in control. We are struggling with helplessness. We are struggling with things being tough and difficult and frustrating. And so this is the thing that I learned last year that I want to pass on to you that I hope will help you. And I don’t mean this in a Pollyanna way at all, but what if we ask the question, what does this make possible? What does this struggle make possible? What does this isolation or this lockdown or these limitations make possible in my life in general, in my personal growth, in my spiritual growth, in my time with my kids, in my time with my spouse? In my time with even FaceTiming or having maybe some more margin, excuse me, some more margin to connect with friends. I don’t know. You know, even if I lay off or less work or you know, a slow down, there’s all these things that are happening that are really hard and you will never hear me deny the hard because I’ve lived through a lot of hard.
But one of the things I talk about is living through hard to get to. Good. Hey Sharon. Hey Kim, thanks for joining me today. I’m living through hard to get to good. And so when we’re living through hard, it’s very easy to kind of get sucked down and all the junk and all the discouragement and all the what I can’t do. What’s the limitations? What’s not going well? And it’s really important that we pause and not just be positive. Like, okay, I’m going to be, you know, trying to have a positive mental attitude. I’m going to, you know, have the attitude of gratitude. That always helps me when I wake up and realize that, gosh, it’s feels a bit like Groundhog day around here. I’m sure it does for you, but I wake up in the morning and one of my first thoughts is, thank you Jesus.
Thank you for this day. Thank you for my family. Thank you for you know my spouse. Thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for whatever I can find to be thankful for. And sometimes it’s really small things. Thank you for, actually this isn’t so small. I had a great conversation with my mom and I was going to say that’s a small thing, but it’s really not because another one of my friends lost her mom recently and so all the little things we might take for granted. Maybe we can be thankful for those, but as we’re doing that, the question I wanted to ask or encourage you to ask yourself, sorry, I have a hair in my face here. There we go. The question I want to encourage you to ask yourself is what does this make possible? So for example, I shared how last year I was really couch bound.
I could not do a lot physically. I did not have the air flow and I was coughing a lot. And I couldn’t talk. And so that cut out a lot. All of my work, you know, all my travel, all my speaking. And you know, for me there was a lot that was canceled. And I remember hearing this question and thinking, huh, what does this make possible? Well, what it made possible for me was in a fun way. I caught up on a series on Netflix that I got to talk to my kids about their mom. Have you watched this mom? Have you watched this? And I was like, no, no, no, but this gave me time to sit there and be still and watch a TV show. The other thing that made possible was I did a lot of reading. I did a lot of study.
I worked on some some writings and some blog posts and some, some teachings on faith in the midst of struggling. I was able to do those kinds of things. So what does this make possible is a question that just shifts our focus ever so slightly. If you stuck with me or been with me at any point in time, you know, I’m always about naming your feelings. So this is hard. I am discouraged. I’m struggling. Name those feelings, but don’t stay in those feelings. Shift to, okay, given what’s going on, given that everything that I thought I was doing this spring is canceled. What does this make possible? Yesterday on my Facebook page, I posted a question about, you know, what’s gotten better in your relationships in this coronavirus crisis? And one of the moms or one of the friends talked about being a mom and having more low key time with her kids.
Maybe that wasn’t a DM, but anyway, it was low key tie with their kids. That kind of time where you’re not rushing to carpools, you’re not rushing to the next event, you’re not rushing, you’re, you’re like, okay, what’s next? And it was this low key kind of were peaceful time with their kids and it wasn’t that she was the entertainment committee, please don’t think you need to be that. But it was a low key kind of connection. We’re all in the same room reading, doing something, playing video games kind of low key connection, you know, no rush. Another person talked about more connection time with their spouse. And again, not like every night, suddenly date night because at the end of the night of getting the kids in bed, you might be exhausted, but you might snuggle up on the sofa and watch a movie and, and have some time together where you’re holding hands or his arms around you or you’re just kind of snuggled up.
And that kind of time doesn’t happen when all our activities aren’t canceled. It might be a time for you to be generous with other people with your time with. I know there’s a lot of women here in where I’m living, who are retired, who are making masks, you know, who are taking their time and doing something for their community, you know. So my question to you is, what does this make possible? And I’d love to hear in the comments from your answers to that. What does having all your kids at home make possible in a positive sense? What does this extra time on Sundays when church churches canceled in your gut? No, not going there. Make possible, you know, what does you know, the job changes and they’re hard. I’ve lost clients to what does that make possible in your life?
For some people it’s a new side hustle. I have a client who’s looking about starting a new side hustle. We’re coaching through that because they are, they’ve gotten laid off from one of their, one of their work jobs. And so what does this make possible? That is not an easy question to answer when we’re frustrated. That is not a enjoyable question sometimes, but I want to say to you it is a positive future focused question so that when we get through this it might we might be in a better place. I just thought of this other story. So I’m in Arizona right now. It’s beautiful and it’s sunny and the allergies are so bad. I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice, but the doctor has asked me not to even go outside. So we’re in our tiny house, which is 320 ish square feet.
And when you live in a tiny house or an RV, the big bonus is you get to take your house places and you get to be in the parks and you get to go outside and you get to enjoy these things. And so you, you know, I walk for exercise, I walk for my lungs and the doctor last week said to me, please don’t even go outside. The allergies are so bad and the risk of you getting a chest infection is so high and that would put you even more at risk. God forbid you get the Corona virus. And so I have been cranky and mad and frustrated and discouraged and disappointed and all the feelings about not being able to go outside. But what I would say to myself as I thought about this question for y’all is, what does that make possible?
So the other day I was thinking, what does this make possible? What does this make possible? And I was joking with a friend of mine, I used to be a runner and I never thought I would say, Oh, I just wish I could go for a walk. I remember when I had to start walking instead of running, I had some knee issues and then even with breathing and I was, you know, mad and again just disappointed. And now I’m, Oh my gosh, I would love to be able to go for a walk. But what does this make possible occurred to me? And I thought, Oh, I could get out my yoga mat. I’ve been talking about getting better at yoga. I have a yoga tape. I’m stuck in my house. My mat will fit here in this little space, this limitation on my life, this cancellation of my walks or my being outside the limitations that this particular season has for me.
Because in the past, if I was allergic, I would just deal with it. But the extra risk right now is too high for me to deal with. Just being allergic and being outside. So I’m stuck inside. And the what this makes possible for me is a new way of exercising. Maybe yoga will help me stop wearing my shoulders as earrings. Maybe it will help me have better posture, but that whole idea of what does this make possible? I would love for you to add that question to your, to your daily thoughts that I would love to know what you think and figure out. And so in the comments below, put, here’s my limitation, or here’s what’s been canceled, or here’s what I’m dealing with and Susie, this is what it makes possible. Here’s what I’ve come up with and I will be cheering you on. One of the things that we always talk about is that better relationships with others taught, start with better relationships with ourselves, better relationships with ourselves are always linked to our mindset, what we’re saying to ourselves, what we’re, what we’re doing with our feelings. And so I hope this little tip helps you today. Thanks for joining me. I look forward to hearing your comments and I will see you tomorrow.