Rainy Days
It’s raining today… gray skies, drizzle, sometimes, bursts of water fall from the sky, wind blows the rain into my face when i stand on the deck watching the rain fall…
a rainy day fits my mood today…i am gray inside, my heart is gray, my mind, my soul…gray…colorless and blurry…
usually i like the rain, i find comfort in the sound of the falling raindrops, cleansing in the running water, and a strange warmth in the gray skies, a noncommital inbetween that allows introspection between black and white…
but today, the rain brings no comfort, instead it mirrors my tears of sadness, of loss and grief, of change that is forced upon me, of pain- unwelcome, unwanted, unbidden…and i cannot find any solace in the sound of the skies…
today, the rain, the gray, the uncertain unknown is as unwelcome as the stark clarity of black and white that i often rail against on other days…today, black and white, certainty and predictabilty, control and lack of change appeal to my sorrowful heart…as if i could stop the wheels of change that come with the passing of time…
today, the rainy day is a marker of unrelenting change…and i am gray…
