How would and your spouse answer these questions:
- How was money handled when you were growing up?
- Was it talked about? if so , as a good thing, a bad thing, the “root of all evil,” something to be shared, horded, spent, given away, enjoyed?
- As an adult, have you struggled to make ends meet, spent without thinking, had a great paying job and not had to worry about a budget?
Your answers to these questions impact and shape your view of money.
Did you and your spouse ever have money conversations before you got married? Usually the answer is No. And that’s where the trouble begins. Most spouses have very different views and ideas about money and we live from those without discussing together how they shape and impact our spending once we are married.
Money in Marriage is a hot topic!! One most couples would prefer to avoid and this is a mistake!! It is a fight waiting to happen.
- Do you hide your receipts or purchases?
- Use cash to justify an expenditure?
- Or do you have fun money—what my mom called “pin money” that was yours to spend as you please without having to justify or explain. Everyone needs to have a bit of this!!
- Do you discuss big purchases and save for them together?
- Does the thought of even talking about money give you hives?
I work with many clients to help clarify their views, come to a mutual understanding of where they disagree, often vehemently and help them craft a plan or money mindset they can share together. Money doesn’t have to be divisive, or the cause of unnecessary fights … if and only if it is discussed openly, honestly and often!!
While this won’t prevent all future fights, argument or disagreements about money… it will reduce the number!
What are some positive ways you and your spouse use to discuss and handle money issues? Comment below. Or be really bold and ask your spouse one of the questions above!