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in the midst…SeLaH

peaceSeLaH…a pause, a moment of stillness, of existing…in the midst of…

SeLaH is the Hebrew word used throughout the Psalms that signifies a pause in the music, a place where the singing ceases and the instrumental notes reverberate into the air.  For how long, I wonder?  How long is there only the breath of the created one…waiting…surrounded by the Breath of the Creator. SeLaH

In the midst of…there exists sacred space, a moment when God is found even without our conscious awareness.  SeLaH is a word that signifies to me, being present and living with a sense of truth while I am in the midst…of whatever.  SeLaH

In the midst of…joy and laughter (which I fool myself into believing is easier, when it is probably more honest to admit that I am feeling happy and often less aware)…in sorrow and pain, in questions and shattered innocence, in injustice and evil…so often juxtaposed with resilience and hope…In the Psalms, all the emotions and questions that I have ever had are voiced, out loud…to God–and He calls it worship!  This humbles me and encourages me, because I am thus invited to live and breath and rant and cry and think out loud as well as sing…and God calls it worship, because he is far more concerned with my coming to him, being in relationship with him, than getting it right, or saying what I think he might want me to hear. SeLaH

I think that I am able to understand this a bit because I feel this way with my teenagers.  I would much rather they tell me what is wrong, and what they are really thinking and feeling, regardless of what they may say, than for them to walk away, or to walk alone…feeling far from relationship with me.  Yet, God takes it further… he calls this sharing of my heart, whatever I might say…worship.  I have come to believe that this is because, more than anything else, he wants to be with us…in the midst of…whatever we are in.  SeLaH

I have a few friends that I have allowed into the mess of my life through the years.  They have traveled with me and heard my laments.  They have seen my house a mess, my heart at its ugliest, heard my questions and anger, and entered into my fear and pain…and because they have been willing to travel these paths with me…they have my heart and our relationships are secure.  It isn’t during the good and easy days of the journey that our heartbonds are forged (though they are fun and terribly necessary) but in the honest communion that comes while being together in the midst…SeLaH

 

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