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In need of sleep!

statue-sleepingJohn has been gone for three days…

he took our daughter and a friend to the beach.  (his sister lives there, so it is a great trip for some family time!)  my other two kid had commitments here at home, and the second most dangerous kids to leave home alone after toddlers…are teens;)  I had to work anyway, since i couldn’t switch things around to fit with their last minute plans.  As much as i would have loved some R&R on the beach, i am so spyched that my kids have a dad who loves to do things with them, and will sacrifice his time and energy for them.  (my daughter’s friends parents wanted an adult along for the drive…so that meant no solo beach trip for the soon to be seniors…)

i never sleep well when he is not here… the bed is too big, the house seems so empty, and the evening hours creep by…

as the clock ticks past 1 am, i have been awake, watching movies, trying to write a sermon, and surfing the web, when i should be sleeping… i haven’t wandered into bloglines, because then i will feel the guilt of not writing a new post as i read all the interesting and profound updates around the blogsphere… but i am not motivated to write, or read or even clean and organize, which are favorite ways to pass the time when john is away…

instead i reach for the remote and search for a mild, benign movie that will keep me company until i can no longer keep my eyes open and then i can stumble up to bed at 2am.. already comatose from last nights lack of sleep, and hoping that i do not wake up before my head hits the pillow…

when john is away, the alarm rings too early, and i swear as i wipe the sandmen from my eyes, tumble out of bed and try to make coffee, without spilling the beans all over the floor (i am a bit clumsy after only 3-4 hours of sleep) …all the while fighting off the urge to call everyone and cancel my day…

“how can it be morning already!??” this is my mantra as i hit the snooze, just one more time;)

but… john is home tonight.  and so i will sleep, peacefully and before the clock strikes 1!

Henri Nouwen, spiritual maturity and the fear of feeling depressed Thin places, preaching sermons and juggling

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