Motherhood takes more courage than I ever imagined. I love being a mom! Yet, sometimes I wonder – if I knew then, what I know now – “Would I actually chose the wonderful, challenging and brutiful (brutal and beautiful) role of motherhood?
Honestly, nothing prepares your heart for the moments of uncontainable joy or soul searing sorrow, the exhaustion, the guilt, conflicts and compromises, the full till your heart is bursting moments that come with motherhood. It is a jungle of emotion and effort!
In the last few years, I’ve found that being the mom of grown up kids is a different jungle all together!
Gone are the days of diapers, toys all over the floor, food stained clothes- mine and theirs!
Gone are the frantic searches for lunch money, car pools, and worrying, praying and staying awake till the kids were all home, tucked safely in their beds.
Gone are the arguments about chores, messy rooms, whose turn it is to do the dishes, the pile of smelly shoes and soccer cleats.
And Gone are the herd of elephants rushing down the stairs for breakfast, their laugher echoing in the halls, the quick hugs and daily “I love yous.”
They are all grown up now, and live in different states and countries. Sure we talk by phone, facetime, and text. They still call for a recipe, decorating ideas, relationship advice, but the rich times of sitting at the kitchen table lingering over good conversation, game playing or movie watching into the wee hours are a rare occurrence.
I miss those days.
I miss my kids.
Today, Zack, our youngest came home for the holidays! He lives in Nazareth, Israel and hasn’t been home for a year. With all the turmoil in the world right now, I was anxious for him to arrive safely. Tears filled my eyes when he texted us, “landed.”
For a brief and fleeting few weeks, our kids will be home again! Two of them are staying here with us, and their oldest sister is married and living in the area. Our home will be full of laughter, reminiscing, good food, great conversations, shoes and stuff everywhere, and even the inevitable tension that comes with every family gathering! And I am beyond thrilled!
Homecomings are priceless.