empty pages & blank canvases
i have so much to write about, and so little time to do it…every time i sit down, one of my kids or my husband needs me, or work beckons, or i notice the utter mess of my house, or it is time to think about dinner (notice i said think about not make)…and by the time i get to sit and write it is so late, i am too tired, and i have to get to sleep, so i can get up and go for a run in the morning, so i can keep myself in good shape and healthy and then the day begins again…
this is crazy… stop the insanity…words swirl in my mind, themes, stories, concepts, posts, chapters, outlines and i am no where near a pencil and even if i was, i couldn’t do the onslaught of ideas and images much justice in a short stint …and then there is the artistic expressions, the collages and mosaics that come together as i drive, or pick up the house, or try to focus on the kids questions and needs.
i am not complaining, i am just in a quandary… because i have great kids and a supportive and helpful husband; they are all very self sufficient…and i love being a wife and mom… i thoroughly enjoy my work and i have new ideas pouring out of me there as well, and i am working hard at not volunteering for all of them. but i see canvases and paragraphs and metaphors and poetry everywhere… and as well as connections and visions all around me and i think i just might burst!
i feel compelled to write, to create, to bring forth from this stirring and brewing within… it is compelling and exhilarating, pulsating and intimidating…all at the same time… and i am looking forward to the steady sound of my footsteps and rhythmic breathing of my run tomorrow morning to bring some focus and clarity to the whirlwind in my brain.
do you ever feel like if you don’t give birth to the life and light within, even it is an expression of darkness that you are refusing to breath…? how on earth do we as women find the space and time…to bring for these ideas in a world that had no room for a Jesus to be born… that in this 21st century, refuses to give reasonable maternity leave, acknowledge the need for a different support structure for women in leadership positions and relegates childbearing and rearing children to a lower level of value… if this is true about our loving children, how much more applicable is this to our artistic expressions of life??? would love the hear your stories, or your thoughts…