…or Just say no!
We have all heard it before. We resist it because we hate the reality of our limitations, or we have the best of intentions and really want to be able to do it all!
As recovering perfectionists delegating and saying no is hard to do!
On the back side of being a full time mom, business owner and over committed super woman wanna be, I have learned a thing or two the hard way… (Seems that is just my learning style!) and want to share them with you.
Spend more time on what only you can do. Delegate the others or just say no.
Let the answers to these questions be your guide to what you spend your time doing:
Lots of people can ____ but only I can do ________. (answer this for your family and your business/work)
5 years from now will I regret doing ____________ or be glad I did ___________.
(Of course you may be able to do all those other things better than most, but that is not the point! )
The key here is figuring out what only YOU can do and naming what few things are most important for you to be investing your time and energy in.
Choose the deeper yes. The things that really matter. And quite honestly there are only a few things/people/tasks that fall into this category.
This became my mantra as I built a successful private practice while parenting tweens and teens and being married to an entrepreneur.
So many things feel through the cracks:
- unmade beds, undone laundry, another take out dinner,
- birthday cards were late or never mailed, books gathered dust, not to mention the rest of the house
- coffee dates cancelled and friendships went untended
- new business ideas and projects got put hold because my waiting list was full
- new networking events, speaking engagements turned down or postponed
The good intentions list was just that…good intentions with little action!
But the few things that only I could do were: be a wife to my hubbie, a mom to my kids and the essential client time and income producing activities in my business.
When I was feeling harried, hassled and like a total failure at so many things – and juggling one more request for something good to be involved with, I would tell myself two things:
Only I can be hubbies wife.
Only I can be K, E & Z’ s mom.
Only I can be the coach/counselor to my clients
Reminding myself of the things that only I could do helped me say no to other good things- really good things would have to wait! I was able to focus on those things that fell into these few categories… and I began to delegate or just say no. (politely and with difficulty).
Sure some things were left undone, people were disappointed, and I was sad to say no to an exciting product or opportunity.
Was it hard… Yes!
Worth it- absolutely!
Now that my kids are all in their 20’s I don’t have any regrets for the choices I made that fell into these two categories. My regrets are the times I stretched myself too thin and no one got the best of me.
So fill in the blanks:
- Lots of people can do________ but ONLY I can Do/Be _________.
- 5 years from now will I regret doing ____________ or be glad I did ___________.
These two questions can help you learn to say no, tear up the good intentions list and just focus on what really matters.
Just a few thoughts to consider when you are feeling like you are one juggle away from everything crashing to the floor.