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Will You Dare to Believe?

isaiah 55Thirsty, hungry, poor, tired, weary, worried, financially struggling, relationally parched?  Come… just as you are, without money, resources, energy… come to Me.

Stop trying to get her on your own, prove yourself, provide according to your resources! Why  are you wasting your time… that will never work and you will still be tired, hungry, poor, weary and struggling.

Instead… Come to Me. There is plenty here for you, and it is FREE!  Come to Me and your soul will be satisfied with the “richest of fare.”  (my loose translation of  Isaiah 55:1-3)

These words  spoke to my heart today, as I woke up struggling with a scarcity mentality, while assessing my resources, connections, abilities  in contrast to the dreams and goals God has given me.

Yesterday, was 2 months before the launch date of my very first book on May 12th.  I am beyond excited AND scared to death.  What if no one buys it, reads it, let alone likes it?  How will I get the word out with my limited resources and lack of connections?  Scarcity thinking has been my companion these past few days and reading  She Reads Truth- Day 24 caused me to pause.

I was in a tailspin this morning when I sat down for some quiet time with God.  My heart and mind were anything but quiet! Scrambling, frantic, and fearful, I began to paint a picture of what if  I fail and I felt my heart prepare for disappointment.

Yuck!

A scarcity mentality painted black marks on my canvas of hope.

Sigh…

“Okay, God, if this is another struggle I need to go through, help me handle it with grace.  I trust You to get me through the hard.”

Oddly, that is a familiar place. Trusting God in the midst of hard.

But this reeks of doubting God’s goodness.  (I have bottles of this stinky smell in  bulk!)

My heart was convicted.  A religious way of saying , I felt like I had been hit with a mack truck of truth.

Susie, you teach, speak and write about trusting God… where is yours?

What about trusting that God will bring blessings, abundance, the”‘right connections” and good things rather than hard things.

That is a huge leap of faith for me.

  • What if I trust good for Goodness and Plenty!?
  • What if I believe that God will put my book in the hands of people who love it and want to share it with others in hopes they can have better relationships?
  • What if God multiplies my resources according to His ability to bring a harvest, not mine?

That feels terrifying.  I am more familiar and thus comfortable with God sustaining me through hard things.

Good things, my hearts desires coming to pass, moving mountains to bring blessing and favor…that part of my journal is sparse.  I have pages of stories of failure, enduring illness, accepting disappointment,  and not being chosen.  What makes me think this time will be different?

And into my fear, my faulty thinking come the words of Isaiah: ” Come with all you don’t have and enjoy what I have to offer and want to freely give you!”  (my paraphrase)

“And you will be satisfied – your soul will delight – with the richest of fair”  (NIV translation)

I wrestle with this question:  Do I believe God’s heart for me is one of goodness, plenty, delight?” Or is my view of God tainted by the way I think or  by my experiences?

The operative word in that choice is “my” vs God.

Read on through Isaiah 55:1-13 and the verses are filled with the goodness of God just waiting for us to come and enjoy, to receive and be satisfied.

Why can’t I trust God for this too.  Tears fill my eyes as I write these words…

Maybe that is true repentance for me.

Maybe this is the journey of faith God is calling me to, rather than bracing myself for the worst.

Maybe… the What if’s I need to plant in my mind and heart are:

  • What if God brings blessings beyond my wildest dreams?
  • What if God does more than i could ask or think with my desire to serve Him through my teaching ,speaking and writing ministry?
  • What if God opens doors, makes connections that delight and surprise me to fulfill His call on my life and heart?
  • What if I let go of my plans and self -dependence and Come to God with my thirst, hunger, fears, limitations and trust God and receive with open hands and a grateful heart.

What if instead of scarcity, my canvas of hope is bursting with God’s handiwork?

Can you relate?  Do you struggle to believe God for what you cannot see, or is beyond the scope of your resources? Do you read the words of Isaiah with a dose of skepticism?

I think restoration, repentance and growth  in our relationship with God often looks quite different than we might expect.  Writing this post today imitated a shift in my mind and heart.  Repentance and returning to God for me requires a leap of faith and a song of hope, unlike any I have made before.

Faith* in this place looks very different than I thought. I must Dare to Believe** in a new way.

With all my heart, I want to do this… and I am still scared.

What would your “What if” sentences be if you shifted from looking at your abilities and  limited resources to God’s unlimited ones?  What if you heeded the call to, “Come to Me and your soul will delight in the richest of fare?”

Please share your thoughts on this and let’s chat!

*(Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns, and Dare to Believe by Ray Boltz:  songs a dear friend shared in response to this battle I am fighting.)

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