A Painful Truth about being a mom

Mothering a teenage son is the most challenging and painful part of my parenting as of yet…letting go and pursuing at the same time, space and respect, coupled with guidance and boundaries….i am in the midst and at times oh so fearful…what much it be like for the Father to hold us so loosely and love us so tightly?  I have much to learn

My friend, Anj always makes me think…her words are poetic and insightful, season with tender grace and compelling at the same time…

today, i read her words here and i responded with those words above.

There is not much more to say just now.

the painful truth is —

at times i am at a total loss on how to love my son well as he grows into a man, how to equip him to face all that this brutal world holds, how to let go and leave that gap that tears at my mothering heart…

at times i am just afraid… and in my fear i am hesitant to trust this G-d of ours who allows so much that i cannot understand or reconcile…

at times i hold on too tightly…

at times…in the midst of my fear…i just pray and offer this young man who has my heart, to this Wild G-d of mine, who captivates my heart and soul such that there is no other option…but to pray and trust and let go…