Do your kiddos, tweens, or teens take over your time?  Is it hard to member the last time you actually had alone time with your spouse?


Parents and kidsAre your kiddos with you from the moment you wake up until you fall into bed exhausted from the day of work, home responsibilities, car pools, summer “cruise director” schedule, or toddler-teenage tantrums?  And at the end of the day, you just want to collapse on the sofa or fall into bed? You are NOT alone!

Many couples don’t get enough time together due to work, entrepreneurship, AND most of all KIDS!  It is easy to go weeks without a significant interaction with your spouse, let alone a romantic one.

And then when we did get a break- we just wanted to sleep!

“Please don’t anyone want anything from me for a little while…” ran through our heads as we anticipated some rare downtime!

So how do we stay connected, or rekindle the romance with our spouse?

Not easily. Hey, just being honest.  Good relationships take work.

Worth it? Absolutely!

One way to stay connected is to look for  “pocket moments” of the day. in addition to the big planned getaways, romantic dinners, or date nights. Pocket moments are those small tucked away – often unseen- unless you look for them- moments in the day.

And connecting with your spouse in these moment can make a huge difference, because it is the little things that add up form large deposits in the emotional and relational bank accounts.

Think about it… of course we all love the grand gestures, but we live in the day to day.  Forgetting to invest in the daily-ness of life can erode even the best relationships.

Taking time for the two of you may be as simple as:

  • Setting a Kids Curfew – Kids go to their rooms 30 minutes before bedtime so you and your spouse can connect one on one.
  • Watch a movie, snuggled up on the sofa or holding hands (kids optional)
  • Take a walk after dinner to chat and connect about the day
  • Intervene when your kids are being disrespectful or haggling one too many times.
  • Sneak a kiss in the hallway, or right in front of the kiddos
  • Send a text mid day with some words of encouragement, love, or missing you.
  • Helping with the evening routine, so there is more downtime for both of you.

We can make meaningful connections throughout the day if we are intentional.

Even 32 years in to marriage, my heart skips a beat when I hear the garage door go up in the evening… my hubby is home again and regardless of all the hassles of the day, things are right with the world again. I make it a point to stop what I am doing and greet him with a hug and kiss.

I know… that sounds so “June Cleaver” but it is a way for us to connect and remember:

  •  THIS is who I choose to spend my life with
  • This is who I couldn’t wait to see back when we were dating
  • This is my best friend, lover, soul mate…the one who remains when the kiddos grow up and leave the nest!

So, take some time today and think about how you can communicate your love, care, friendship, appreciation to your spouse in the “pocket moments” of today.

Set an alarm on your phone so you can remember, or take action right now!

I promise it will make a difference!

If you have other ideas about how to connect and make time for just the two of you, PLEASE share them below.  We can learn from each other!

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