Today is the last day of vacation.  i need another week, but would settle for a few more days… how about you?

the holidays have been a whirlwind of family and friends, conversations, music and meals, lots of dishes, laughter and love, reminding me of the richness of my life… and yet, they have simultaneously left me longing for a few days of quiet reflection, with an empty “to-do” list and the leisure time to just enjoy the wonder of this thing we call life and being human!

I have started a number of posts in my head, and have yet to sit down and blog them, so this morning, before the day gets away, i have hidden away in my sunroom, to write, to re-connect, to read the musings of traveling companions and other bloggers who have touched my life this past year.

Happy New Year!  to each of you…I hope it is a year filled with wonder and hope… that in the midst of all that is unfolding there are moments of peace, of dreams, and of falling more deeply in love with the One who is Light and Life into this world.

insert commentary:  as i read those words, i am conflicted…between their utter hopefulness and the strange gnawing that in this raw and ravaged world, they are words that sound like a cheesy Christmas card!  i have “deleted. re-written, and deleted again” in an effort to express the sentiments of my heart… a real and visceral desire for “Better Days” with the childlike faith that still believes it is possible!  I am an eternal optimist, and in the midst of my work as a therapist, this trait is both a blessing and a curse.  Reality presses in on every side… and too often i think that “reality” is the dark and shadow side of life, yet, deep within, i truly believe that “reality ” is also the light and wondrously unexpected moments of light and love, that make it impossible to lose hope…

so the “internal commentator” that censors my hopeful comments and wishes for this new year, argues with my hopeful heart, which i cannot deny or silence for that matter!  I am haunted by the goodness of G-d, the places where Hope and Truth have shaped and changed my life, thus i cannot silence the optimist in me, even when it is but a flickering flame…

just a bit of insight into my recent struggles to write, to blog, to say  much of anything…there is an ongoing debate in my mind and heart as i wrestle between these worlds… i have yet to land, but i miss this forum of discussion…of sharpening and shaping… so i am risking, by offering a peek into both…

no wonder i am tired;)  all this debate, just to write a post… thus i have been so quiet of late.

exit commentary: as i resist the urge to delete this whole post.

Happy New Year!  my hope is that 2006 is a year of great and small moments where our faith is stretched and reconfirmed, of glimpses of Heaven in the midst of our relationships, as we learn to love more and give extravagantly, of peace and rest in the inner most parts of our souls, because we intimately know and are known by the Incomprehensible Eternal One…

And as I look around at the “clean-up” the undoing of the decorations, the thank you notes to write, the reorganizing that comes with each new year, i cling to this last day of vacation… and commit to it being just that…a vacation day!!

a day off, a day to rest, to reflect, to play, and to just be…

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