Loving well An excerpt from my new book Listen, Learn, Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationship in 30 Days or Less!

Publication Date: May 12th Go to www.listenlearnlovebook.com for over $250 in FREE Bonuses when you pre-order!

Skill #3:  Love Well

There  are  days  when  we  don’t  always  feel  like  working  on  our  business,  making  the  next  sales  call,  pushing  through  rejection,  or  getting  up  early  for  massive  action,  but  successful  entrepreneurs  and  business  executives  do  it  anyway;  they  work  from  their  commitments,  not  their  emotions.

As  parents,  we  are  rarely  eager  to  leave  our  warm  beds  to  get  our  kids  ready  for  school,  give  them  a nutritious  breakfast,  and  pack  lunches  to  save  money  for  the  family  vacation,  but  we  do  it  anyway.

On  evenings  when  we  are  dog-­‐tired,  the  last  thing  we  have  energy  for  is  a  long  conversation  with  our  teenager  who  had  a  hard  day  at  school.  But  we  patiently  listen,  validating,  and  clarifying,  with  toothpicks  holding  our  eyes  open.  Sometimes  we  are  angry  and  frustrated  and,  instead  of  being  understanding,  we  want  to  snap  at  our  spouse  and  tell  them  exactly  how  we  think  they  should  handle  a  sticky  situation  at  work.  Instead,  we  remember  our  commitment  to  allow  them  to  “just  vent,”  so  we  bite  our  tongue  and  patiently  listen  as  they  recount  a  frustrating  or  challenging  work  issue.

Maybe  a  friend  requested  your  help  holding  her  accountable  in  an  area  in  which  she  wanted  to  grow  and  change:  boundaries,  diet,  exercise,  time  management.  She  is  frustrated,  discouraged,  and  compromised  her  plan,  but  saying  something  is  harder  than  pretending  not  to  notice.  Besides,  you  don’t  want  to  make  her  mad  and  add  to  her  struggles.  Loving  well  in  this  case  means  braving  the  hard  conversation.

In  each  of  these  situations  we  can  choose  to  Love  Well  by  acting  from  our  commitments,  not  from  our  emotions.  I  know  this  is  hard  to  do.  We  are  emotionally  driven  beings,  and  it  takes  practice  and  discipline  to  manage  our  emotional  response,  and  choose  to  act  from  our  decisions  made  in  rational  moments.”

 What do you do when you aren’t feeling it?  What helps you remember and choose to  work from your commitments and not your emotions? 

One Response to “What if “I don’t feel like it?””

  1. Jen

    When I am just not feeling it, I try (but seldom succeed) to go to the place of gratitude. I remember just not feeling like going to work one day and I was listening to the radio and something about someone not having job made me go to the place of I am happy to have a job, ….happy to have a daughter ( even if she just took me out over her lunch selection and the jeans that she wanted to wear still being in the wash). It is a conscious effort, sometimes I also go to a devotional for inspiration when I need a lift. It doesn’t always work, or work enough but I am in the process of overcoming those emotions that set me back.

    Reply

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