An excerpt from my new book Listen, Learn, Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationship in 30 Days or Less!
Publication Date: May 12th Go to www.listenlearnlovebook.com for over $250 in FREE Bonuses when you pre-order!
“Skill #3: Love Well
There are days when we don’t always feel like working on our business, making the next sales call, pushing through rejection, or getting up early for massive action, but successful entrepreneurs and business executives do it anyway; they work from their commitments, not their emotions.
As parents, we are rarely eager to leave our warm beds to get our kids ready for school, give them a nutritious breakfast, and pack lunches to save money for the family vacation, but we do it anyway.
On evenings when we are dog-‐tired, the last thing we have energy for is a long conversation with our teenager who had a hard day at school. But we patiently listen, validating, and clarifying, with toothpicks holding our eyes open. Sometimes we are angry and frustrated and, instead of being understanding, we want to snap at our spouse and tell them exactly how we think they should handle a sticky situation at work. Instead, we remember our commitment to allow them to “just vent,” so we bite our tongue and patiently listen as they recount a frustrating or challenging work issue.
Maybe a friend requested your help holding her accountable in an area in which she wanted to grow and change: boundaries, diet, exercise, time management. She is frustrated, discouraged, and compromised her plan, but saying something is harder than pretending not to notice. Besides, you don’t want to make her mad and add to her struggles. Loving well in this case means braving the hard conversation.
In each of these situations we can choose to Love Well by acting from our commitments, not from our emotions. I know this is hard to do. We are emotionally driven beings, and it takes practice and discipline to manage our emotional response, and choose to act from our decisions made in rational moments.”
What do you do when you aren’t feeling it? What helps you remember and choose to work from your commitments and not your emotions?