fan-choiceIn general, I love that we have free will and the ability to make choices.

I am strong willed, independent and as a friend said today, “A big bold personality!”  (She assured me it was a compliment! wink).  I love the freedom of being able to make my own choices.

But then again… sometimes I don’t…

Choices have impact on our lives and relationships.  Choice implies responsibility!

So sometimes I am not a big fan of choice…

Like:

  • when my choice to speak without thinking wounds the heart of someone I love.
  • when I choose selfishness over service or sacrifice, and then see the news of homeless, hungry and hurting humans.
  • when I stay up too late binge watching TV and am cranky and impatient the next day.
  • when I eat the second piece of cheesecake and splurge for days on end and my jeans are too tight all of a sudden
  • when I am winded after climbing stairs because I have avoided exercising. (I pretend that I  gave it up for Lent so justification comes easily).

You get it.. when my choices have sucky consequences.. then I don’t want it anymore.  Choice is great… until it isn’t.

Choices have impact on our lives and relationships.  Choice implies responsibility!

When the responsibility of choice comes roaring in with a list of consequences from bad and ugly choices -I want pretend that choice wasn’t really involved, along with “good reasons, “I had to’s” justifications or scrambling to defend or explain.

Have you done that?  I hate getting caught when my choices are lousy.  The sweaty palms, racing heart, pit in my stomach feeling… tempts me turn in my choice card, because then i don’t have to take responsibility. It sounds good in the moment, but giving up free will is a high price to pay.

So I embrace choice…(not that I can really give it up or something- and even if there was a way to do that, my strong willed independent self would grab it back -but fast!)

So, me and choice are learning to dance- not a lovely waltz, more of a tango, with jerky moments, and power struggles. I’m learning to respect its force and pull, but realize that I need to learn to lead with intention.

I hope that wisdom overcomes whining and sensitively trumps selfishness… and that my friends and loved ones have an extra measure of forgiveness and grace – because I usually need a double helping.

Today’s She Reads Truth devotional was about consequences… the heartbreaking impact of our ugly and selfish choices. While reading, I heard the music start and knew exactly what i would write about.  Choice.

Of course I avoided writing all day, so my choice to stall makes this posting late, and for that, I am sorry.  I will try to make a wiser choice tomorrow.

How do you feel about the reality of choice.  Do you wrestle  with the responsibility that comes with it?  How do you handle the consequences when you make a poor choice?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below. 

Also, you can hit the FB button to share this post on Facebook if you know other folks who might like to read it. – thanks!

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