healthy relationship tips

Better Relationship Podcast Episode #019

A Healthy Relationship With Money with Joan Sotkin

Show Notes: (by R. Pumphrey)

Can we change our life stories? Yes! Can having healthy relationships lead to more wealth? Yes!  Can you change your relationship with money to create more wealth? Yes!  Joan Sotkin share why building a healthy relationship with money is essential to success!

Joan’s Bio

  • Joan is THE expert in understanding how emotions learned in early childhood can affect a person’s earning capacity as an adult.
  • For over 25 years, she has been helping entrepreneurs experience freedom from personal, professional and financial struggles.
  • Joan is the author of ‘Build Your Money Muscles: 9 Simple Exercises for Improving Your Relationship with Money.”
  • Joan is also the host of “The Prosperity Show” podcast.

Her Journey

  • Joan came from a family where money was a big issue-her father was a compulsive debtor.
  • Although her parents never fought, there was an underlying annoyance and financial tension.
  • Joan never learned how to have  healthy relationship with money, which led to significant financial trouble in her early adult years
  • It was in ‘Debtors Anonymous’ that she really started to understand the connections between emotions and money.
  • Being poor, as well as facing physical issues, allowed Joan to develop a real faith in the future.

What Is Money? 

  • Money by itself has no energy-it only has energy when it passes between 2 entities.
  • It is a symbol of a relationship, whether it is a personal or a business relationship.
  • How you deal with money with is how you deal with relationships so it’s essential that you address the emotions in those relationships.

Emotions and Money

  • We create our life stories with emotions.  They are the bridge between our internal and external worlds.
  • Emotions are the force behind our behaviors and the decisions we make to perpetrate the image we have of ourselves.
  • Whatever problems you’re having with money are never truly about the actual money.
  • Shame, anger, deprivation, aloneness and feeling trapped are all acted out through our interactions with money.
  • Aloneness is the ‘big one’-that is our core need for connection and touch.
  • When you’re longing for money, you are longing for personal touch and connectedness.
  • Longing starts in early childhood when you don’t get the attention we need.

Detaching From Negativity and Becoming Emotionally Healthy

  • $100 is just a number.  You have to detach from assigning it an emotional value.
  • The 3 R’s-Recognize, Release and Replace
  • Recognize when you’re having a negative emotion about your money.
  • Release that feeling-journal, get a ‘yelling’ towel-just get it out of your system
  • Replace-identify what you would rather feel (i.e. satisfaction) and practice it over and over.
  • The more you can think in a healthy emotional way, the less fear you will have in the future.
  • The less fear that you have of the future, the more faith you have in yourself to create what you need.

Creating Healthy Relationships With Money

  • People expect others to meet their needs-we have to create a healthy relationship with ourselves first.
  • You have to develop a level of self-awareness.
  • You have to take good care of money like you do with people-it goes where it’s appreciated.
  • Managing cash flow is the concept-be in touch with your money all of the time.
  • Don’t be vague about your money-that’s denial and avoidance.
  • Part of wealth comes from your willingness to have a relationship of awareness and intention with your money.
  • “If you don’t know your numbers you don’t know your business” (Marcus Lemonis-CNBC’s ‘The Profit’).

2 minute “Elevator Advice

  • Let go- Love yourself- Connect.  In all aspects of life.

What is Joan’s Superpower? 

  • Her intuition and her ability to see a bigger picture

Joan’s Parting Words of Wisdom 

  • Everyone needs to be fully aware of their money situation-don’t be the spouse or partner that says “oh, he handles the money.”
  • Practice Cash Flow Management-use a Cash Flow Spreadsheet.
  • Take advantage of her ‘Freedom From Financial Struggle’ Program-includes her book, worksheets and other materials at a very affordable, low-cost investment.

Where to Find Joan and Her Programs

Additional Resources From This Episode


Susie’s website:

Susie’s book: