Better Relationship Podcast Episode #022
Wealth and Wisdom with Dr. David Phelps
Show Notes: (by R. Pumphrey)
Dr. David Phelps, of Freedom Founders, is a successful husband, father and entrepreneur today, but his road was paved with many difficulties. David talks honestly with Susie about the lessons he learned from his first marriage and how the struggles he faced led him to find mentors, redefine his priorities, and realize that communication really is the key. Today he enjoys a life of freedom gained from years of growing wealth and wisdom.
- David is the founder and facilitator of the Freedom Founders Mastermind Community, a group for those in the professional practice realm.
- David’s mission is to help those who are working hard try to figure out their ‘exit strategy’ so they can live a financially-secure life that is also fulfilling and enjoyable.
- David is the author of “From High Income to High Net Worth”, a blueprint for professionals to find and create their path to freedom.
- David is the 2011 Winner of the coveted “Marketer of the Year Award for Professional Private Practice Owners” at the Glazer-Kennedy SuperConference in Chicago.
- David is also a husband, married for 8 years, a father, and a tennis enthusiast.
- David started his career as a dentist in 1983
- He always had an entrepreneurial side and got involved in real estate investing pretty early on. Although it started as a sideline, it turned out to be something that provided him with security and an additional wealth platform
- His first marriage dissolved under the strain of not being there emotionally for his wife when their daughter was very ill.
Lessons Learned From His First Marriage
- There’s so much more to a marriage from a male standpoint than just being strong and being a provider.
- It wasn’t till after the fact that David realized he needed to be present and to communicate better.
- Because they were both dealing with their daughter’s serious illness, David didn’t want to show an weakness, unware that his wife needed him to show be present and to show emotion.
- They lost their ability to have real communication.
Financial Security Is Only One Piece
- David thought the most important aspect to life was to build a financially secure fortress.
- The truth is that success can be very costly to our relationships because it can consume us, so David is committed to being present and connected with his wife.
- Success can lead to couples drifting apart and losing sight of the things that brought them together.
- It’s tempting to take family commitments and other ‘little things’ off of our priority list and replace them with business and finances.
- David is committed to keeping his wife a priority so they have a growing and thriving marriage.
How to Keep Core Connections in the Forefront
- Keep “dating” your wife-have something regularly scheduled that you enjoy doing together.
- If you say “I’ll get to that”, before you know it, nothing has happened, so make your marriage a priority on you schedule.
- Waiting for someday is a myth-there is no magical moment where it all comes together and there’s no struggle. Enjoy your life today.
Challenges of Being Married to an Entre-Spouse
- The entrepreneurial life can take over because it’s addicting.
- It goes back to keeping those core connection points they can enjoy together.
- Both spouses have to be willing to discuss issues and not let them fester.
- There entrepreneur needs to be able to receive feedback from their spouse.
But wait! There’s a lot of positives!
- Being able to maintain a flexible schedule and be there for his wife instead of committed to a 9-5 is a big plus.
- His wife is able to see that he is fulfilled and at peace pursuing what he loves.
- She can feel secure because he will make things happen financially for their future and their home without giving his whole life to job.
Learning Personal Relationship Skills
- Although it came a little late to save his first marriage, he didn’t stop working on himself and sought counseling of every variety.
- But, the best help he received was in finding mentors, which is why he’s so passionate about that today.
- David surrounded himself with other business owners who had encountered struggles but survived and were down the path from him.
- His advice: Surround yourself with others that you respect and have the qualities you want to have. Learn from them
- Recognize that it’s a strength, not a weakness, to reach out and ask for support.
- Don’t wait for when you’re in trouble-build your fortress -your network of support, do it now!
“I wish my spouse knew this….”
- There can be a lot of frustration on both sides in an entrepreneurial couple.
- The entrepreneur feels that they are not understood, while the spouse thinks their feelings do not matter.
- If working together is not in the game plan, the entrepreneur can still bring their spouse in for glimpses of their daily business life.
- Some ideas are networking events or a group like David’s Mastermind. These are times when the spouse can experience the business.
- It is also great for the spouse to meet the other spouses-there’s sense of “we’re all in it together.”
- It’s not just on the entrepreneur spouse to invite you in, it’s also on the non-entrepreneur spouse to voice interest in taking part
What’s His Superpower?
He loves to connect dots-he’s a visionary who loves to orchestrate the big picture and have an impact.
Where to Find David:
His website: www.freedomfounders.com
Susie’s website: www.susiemiller.com
Susie’s book: www.listenlearnlovebook.com