Redefining Marriage

Better Relationship Podcast Episode #033

Millennials Redefining Marriage w/ Chelsea Avery

Show Notes: (by R. Pumphrey)

Millennials are updating marriage roles and responsibilities.  Chelsea Avery, of a New WifeStyle, highlights and equips strong, independent women to both grow personally AND develop a fulfilling marriage. Chelsea Avery shares the joys and challenges of being in business with her husband, and how important it is for women to take a deep look inside to realize their potential by seeking their happy place.    

Chelsea’s Bio

  • Chelsea is an international speaker, writer, and the founder of ‘The New Wifestyle’, an online community that empowers women in their relationships.
  • Chelsea is passionate about reinvigorating marriage to be a partnership between two people who are making conscious choices and not living in outdated expectations.
  • Chelsea is married and in business with her husband, Ryan.
  • Chelsea and Ryan live in Portland, OR with their new puppy and travel the world.

In Love With Each Other and Their Business

  • Chelsea and Ryan’s business, ‘The Map to Dreaming Big’, is about taking and idea and making it real.
  • They tour the world speaking about changing your mindset to realize your goals.
  • Chelsea loves working with Ryan because their values are the same but their approaches are drastically different.
  • Ryan is the visionary dreamer and Chelsea is the actionable planner.
  • Ryan pushes Chelsea to see the world in different ways.
  • Their personality differences let them grow together as a couple and inspire growth in each other as individuals.

The ‘Happy’ List

  • Chelsea and Ryan were inspired to create their ‘Happy List’ because they felt an imbalance.
  • Their ‘Happy List’ is what makes them happy as a couple and as individuals.
  • They found that what other people think doesn’t matter as much as their thoughts and preferences,
  • From their Happy list, they realized they were living about 90% of it on a daily basis.
  • Their goal is to form their lifestyle, including their business, to keep achieving their happiness list.

Creating The New Wifestyle

  • Chelsea believes women must solidly know who you are and what you’re about at your core.
  • If you aren’t clear about what you want and value, you can’t fully bring yourself to any relationship.
  • When you love yourself first, then you can be a much better partner to your spouse.
  • Chelsea’s first step coaches wives to examine her view of marriage and relationships.  
  • The next step is to look at individual strengths and weaknesses and how they play a part, in relationships.
  • Chelsea’s third step is having clients look forward to what will make them happy and what impact they want to have on the world.

Ryan coming ‘On Board’ for The New Wifestyle

  • Ryan spent the first 7 months of their relationship in Europe.
  • Ryan and Chelsea discussed all their thoughts before Chelsea moved forward.
  • Their distance allowed them to connect and communicate emotionally, mentally, and on a sould level, while the distance impacted their sexual intimacy.
  • Ryan knew she was a ‘strong, independent, resourceful woman’ with her own ambitions.
  • It’s been an interesting process and he’s been open and supportive; he’s not a ‘stereotypical man’.

‘The Map to Dreaming Big’ for their Marriage

  • Many people are accustomed to setting personal and business goals.
  • It’s important also set relationship goals-Chelsea and Ryan commit to this every year.
  • Some examples are reading books together and introducing 2 new recipes each month.
  • The books spark lively, thoughtful conversations.
  • They create fun date nights around the new recipes.

Setting Boundaries Between Business and Relationship Time 

  • Chelsea and Ryan commit to one ‘love day’ per month that is pre-scheduled, where they disconnect from the demands of business and family to spend time together.
  • Seeing it on their calendars evokes a sense of anticipation and excitement.
  • They do not discuss business, money or other ‘trigger’ subjects within an hour of going to bed.
  • Mealtimes are a ‘no electronics’ zone.  

4 Questions to Fall Asleep More in Love

  • Ryan originally came up with the 4 Questions to Fall Asleep, and they now make it a priority.
  • Even on the most difficult days, you can find one thing to love about yourself and your spouse.
  • The questions bring you back to a grateful and grounded space no matter what else is going on.

 My favorite thing about you today was ________.  

My favorite thing about myself today was _____. 

How did I give back today?

What am I grateful for? 


What is Chelsea’s Superpower?  She can find the funny in just about any situation.

Where You Can Find Chelsea:


Susie’s website:

Susie’s book: