Portrait of romantic young couple in love smiling together outdoor in nature with blue sky in background

Many couples don’t get enough time together due to work, entrepreneurship, and most of all KIDS! It is easy to go weeks without a significant interaction with your spouse, let alone a romantic one.

Back when our kids were little, we were always tired. Too tired to talk. Too tired for date night. Too tired for sex. Frustrated and frazzled we’d plan a weekend getaway- Friday night though Sunday afternoon. One weekend, we arrived at a luxury beach resort, nestled in breathtaking scenery, with gardens, fountain, a beautiful beach. But we barely noticed, as we opened the door of our suite and spied a luxurious bed- dressed in extravagant sheets and piled high with sumptuous pillows. It beckoned. We crashed.

Four hours later, we awoke. Not fully rested, but far less exhausted than when we arrived. Darkness enveloped the cool room, the fountains, gardens, and beach. We stretched, sighed and decided the bed was too marvelous to leave before morning. The mini bar would replace the bistro that first evening, maybe for the whole weekend! We slept for most of the first 24 hours! Luxurious, extravagant, sumptuous sleep!

On that trip we learned an invaluable lesson. Weekend trips lasting Friday evening to Sunday afternoon, are a tease. They are too simply short, and fraught with pressure to meet expectations: “get rest, enjoy sex, reconnect, talk, and have some fun, just the two of us!” We came up with The three-day rule!

At least three days are essential for a relaxing, restorative and time of reconnecting and romance.

Couples anticipate their weekend getaway, dreaming of chance to talk, reconnect, have sex, without little ones running around, demanding attention, mistaking you for jungle gyms, or interrupting lovemaking. A romantic getaway means your rendezvous in the sheets will not be ruined by kids woken by a bad dream, the stomach flu, or a need to “go potty!”

Couples leave excited but don’t count on being so exhausted; and usually have to head back home, just as things are getting good. Friday night through Sunday afternoon simply isn’t enough time!

Friday night:
You arrive exhausted. A long week, all the plans for child care, packing, promises they will have fun at grandmas. Honestly, all you want to do is sleep, but struggle with feeling pressure to take full advantage of your time away.

Saturday: (The only full day away!)
Time to pry yourself out of bed, and get busy having fun! Pressure mounts as you try to squeeze in all the enjoyment, reconnection, sex, and conversation before tomorrow, when you have to pack up and head back. Nothing says fun and relaxation like pressure!

Sunday:
Finally you feel rested enough to enjoy your romantic, relaxing getaway, which is now winding down. You try to ignore the ticking clock, and linger is bed as long as possible. Conversations are relaxed and unhurried as you soak in the final moments. Ignoring the dawning irony that just as you are finally relaxed and ready to enjoy each other, it’s time to head home.

Of course you are grateful for the time away, but you are also frustrated and disappointed your weekend is over. Bickering, disappointment, unmet expectations and desires for more sleep and extra time to reconnect accompany you home.

Alternatively, a three-day getaway gives you both the necessary time to relax, reconnect, and rekindle your romance!

Day 1:
Sleep, sleep and more sleep! Don’t even plan to do anything else! If you arrive the evening before, the bonus sleep is marvelous!

Day 2:
When the talking begins, you realize how long it has been since you actually had uninterrupted and meaningful conversations! Additionally, total exhaustion is replaced with “still excessively tired” so inevitably some bickering ensues.

But, knowing you have day 3 together lessens the pressure, reduces tension, and gives you time and margin to shift from bickering to reconnecting. By the end of day two, you are relaxed enough to enjoy some romance and sex without propping your eyes open with toothpicks!

Day 3:
The fun finally begins on Day 3, thus it is essential to a romantic getaway! You wake up rested, linger in bed, remembering how much you love and enjoy your spouse. No longer one frazzled nerve, conversation and connection come easily! You can make love in the morning and have sex in the afternoon! You have all day!

Whether you spend another night or head home that evening, three full days give you and your spouse time to sleep, shed your parenting personas, and reengage as friends and lovers. Day 3 makes all the difference!

Next time you plan a romantic getaway, enlist the three-day rule for a relaxing, restorative time of reconnecting and romance.

(image courtesy of Graphic Stock)

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